The Unforgiven Read online

  “Safe? Safe? I saw what’s coming after me. You can’t keep me safe. You can’t. No one could.”

  Her agitation returned full force, racking her body, driving strength into her limbs. If the ropes encircling her wrists and ankles hadn’t been formed by magic, Cade was sure they would have snapped.

  He cradled her head in his hands and locked their eyes. When he moved inside her, she shuddered and softened. But her expression was bleak.

  “How can I fight it, Cade? How?”

  He didn’t answer, just concentrated on working his cock inside her body. In. Out. In. Out. Artur had sent him to Maddie for exactly this reason, but that didn’t lessen the tenderness blossoming in Cade’s heart. She was so strong, so brave. A natural warrior. Stronger by far than he had been, when he was in her place.

  He feathered kisses over her forehead. A tear tracked down her cheek. “Hush now, caraid. Hush,” Cade murmured against her lips. “You’ll come through this. I promise.”

  Her hips lifted to match his growing rhythm. “You feel good. So good. But you can’t possibly—”

  “Shh. I can. If you let me in.”

  “I . . . don’t understand.”

  Deliberately he let his presence expand in her mind. Her eyes widened, and the fear in them increased.

  “The presence in my head. It is you. You’ve been there since . . . since we first . . .”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve felt you, but I wasn’t sure . . .”

  “Now you are. And now I need to go deeper. You need to let me in completely, Maddie, if I’m to help you. I need access to your deepest ancestral memories.”

  He might have used magic to compel her; he had certainly gained enough control over her will to do so. He resisted that path, however. The thought of thrusting into her innermost being by force sickened him. He desperately wanted her to want him there.

  “Let me in,” he said again.

  She flushed. “I . . . I don’t know if I can.”

  “You have to. I’m inside your body and inside your mind. I need to be part of your life essence.”

  Her head scrubbed the mattress. “No. I can’t—”

  “Please. Please trust me. The peak of your crisis isn’t far off. I can’t protect you unless you trust me. Unless you let me in.”

  Her eyes closed briefly, but her body remained stiff under his. He held himself deep and still inside her. Her inner muscles squeezed him like a tight, hot glove. He felt himself falling into a different kind of frenzy. One he knew he should fight but couldn’t.

  “I love you, Maddie.” It was lunacy to say it.

  Her eyes widened. “You don’t. You couldn’t.”

  “I do.”

  “Then . . . untie me. Please, Cade.”

  It had been hard enough to subdue her during the onset. He stared down at her and said, “That’s not a good idea. When the peak hits—”

  “Please.” She jerked at her bonds. “Please. I hate this. I want to move. Oh, God, it’s starting again. I can’t stand it.”

  Cade stroked a damp curl from her forehead. “Then let me in. It can’t hurt you if I’m with you.”

  “Untie me!” She jerked her arms. “I need to move! I need to fight! If you really love me, untie me.”

  He knew he should simply claim her ancestral memories, her magic and be done with it. She couldn’t stop him. He was a fool ten times over to even consider granting her plea. If he freed her, how would he be able to subdue her during the first rush of her full power?

  And yet, he hesitated. Blast it. If anything was madness, this was it.

  He wasn’t aware of consciously making the decision, only of speaking the words that had the knots sliding from her wrists and ankles. Those cords slithered back up his arm and blended into his skin.

  The tension drained from Maddie’s body. Her hands found their way to his wrists and stroked up his arms. That simple caress, freely given, was unbelievably erotic, and he gasped with the pure unspoiled shock of it.

  Her hands slid over his shoulders as if measuring their width. Her eyes shone with tears. “Thank you. Oh, thank you.”

  He captured her gaze with his own. “Now keep your promise. Let me in.”

  She tugged his head down, matched his lips to hers. As the kiss deepened, he felt her surrender.

  “I love you, Cade.”

  It was time. Ignoring the pangs of his conscience, he slipped more deeply into her mind, into her ancestral memory. Into the heart of Clan Azazel’s power.

  The memory was old. Very old.

  The girl Lilith stood at an open forge, sheltered by a smoke blackened canopy fashioned from animal skins. She tended a fire, moving blue flames with her bare hands. Cade moved closer in order to watch.

  A clay crucible, black with soot, lay in the fire. The girl slid her hands under the vessel, and flames licked her flesh as she lifted it. Cade sensed the contact brought only a slight warmth and no pain. Even so, Lilith’s lips compressed and tightness appeared at the corners of her eyes.

  She used a bone-handled knife to pry the halves of the crucible apart. Inside, molten gold gleamed. She worked swiftly as the metal cooled, first wielding a brass hammer, then a small wooden mallet. Soon, seven perfect gold circles lay on the worktable.

  Cade moved closer as Lilith overlapped two golden discs and joined them with the aid of a long-handled burin. She applied the chiseled end to the metal. Sparks flowed down her fingers to merge with the gold.

  Cade’s mind reached toward Lilith’s magic, but the sparks were a shade of the long-dead past that he could not grasp. It was different, he knew, for Maddie. Lilith’s mind and memories were part of her. Her ancestor’s magic—Azazel’s legacy—was a part of her, and when Cade became her master, he would own it, too.

  Lilith worked quickly, uniting the third disc with the first two. The fourth followed. All the while, her magic flowed. The seven discs became one. The piece lay new and sparkling on the stone anvil.

  The Seed of Life. The mystery of creation, bound in gold. Heaven’s magic. All that was needed now was a spark of human essence. Cade understood this amulet was Lilith’s gift to her father. How pleased Azazel would be! How happily would Lilith bask in his praise.

  She produced the bloodstone—whole, round, and sparkling—from a fold in her robes and placed it in the exact center of the pattern. The gem, fashioned from Lilith’s magic and blood, was to be the earthly anchor to the power of Heaven embedded in the amulet. Cade caught his breath at the audacity of the girl’s intent. She meant nothing less than to bind eternal life to her creation. Lilith secured the gem, melding the ends of narrow golden strips to the disc with heat and magic.

  The bloodstone secure, the girl turned the disc over. The rear side was smooth. Drawing a breath, she placed her finger upon the metal and shut her eyes. Blue flame burst from the point of contact, but she held the touch for several long seconds before lifting her finger.

  Cade moved closer to peer at the mark she’d left: a small circle surrounded by a larger ring. It was the stylized eye of the Watchers.

  Abruptly, Lilith lifted her head. Cade sensed a sudden waft of cool air. The girl frowned. Her eyes slowly returned from the realm of magic.

  A burly figure approached her from behind. He laid a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped and spun about.

  “Hello, sister.”

  “Ezreth.” Lilith’s eyes darted to a nearby tent, then to the fields beyond. Not another person in sight. “What are you doing here?”

  “I think you know.”

  She backed up a step, her hip bumping the anvil. “No.”

  Ezreth advanced. His aura—angry, aggressive—flowed with him. Cade recognized the brutish force as war magic. Lilith’s more delicate aura shrank before it.

  His hand closed on her upper arm. “Remember our agreement. My silence in exchange for your body. It is time, Lilith, to made good on your promise.”

  She shut her eyes. “No. No, Ezreth. Please. Do not do
this. Father—”

  “You wish him to know how you have betrayed him?”

  “You are the one who has betrayed him,” Lilith whispered.

  But Cade could sense the girl’s doubt.

  “Tell him, then. Tell him what we did here just days ago.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Ezreth smiled. “Then I will. The moment he returns from the upper desert.”

  “Please do not!”

  Her brother’s eyes darkened. “You know how to earn my silence.”

  She trembled. “Do not force this on me, Ezreth. I . . . I do not want you.”

  He struck her, backhand, across the face. Her head whipped to the side and she stumbled, grabbing at the anvil to prevent her fall. Her hand struck the gold disc and it tumbled to the dirt.

  Ezreth tore off Lilith’s head scarf. Fisting his hand in her hair, he thrust her to the ground. “Here,” he said. “Now.”

  “No!” Dead weight compressed her chest. Maddie couldn’t breathe. He was deep inside her and she couldn’t bear the invasion. Hadn’t she fought against it?

  You did, the voice whispered. But it was long ago. Now, you must fight again.

  “Maddie!”

  The call was faint and far away. But its tone held the authority of command. Try as she might, she couldn’t deny it.

  She didn’t want to answer. She wanted to listen to the whispering voice.

  “You’ll bloody well stay with me, damn you.”

  Cade. It was his voice hot in her ear. It was his weight holding her down, his presence inside her body. Not the hated presence of Ezreth.

  A rush of pure relief softened her resistance. Cade had freed her arms and legs. He’d held her close when terror threatened. He surrounded her now. He felt safe. His solid body was her anchor to sanity.

  Your anchor to slavery, the voice inside her skull rasped. Do not let him bind you. Seize your freedom.

  Freedom? Freedom to be . . . what? A monster? A black-winged Nephilim? Yes, if that was the only life she could live, she would take it.

  Cade was buried inside her. He flexed his hips, and sparks of pleasure scattered through her body. She couldn’t stop her body’s response. It felt good. Their union felt like life.

  He released her wrists. “Hold on to me, Maddie. Don’t let go. I’ll see you through this. I swear it.”

  He moved inside her—long, slow strokes that seemed to never end. One melded into the next, deep and eternal. Fear and doubt receded. Pleasure built. Maddie curved her fingers into his shoulders and moaned.

  But, the whisper returned inside her skull. Follow him and you will become his slave. Is that what you want? Is that what you crave? No. You long for freedom.

  Was the voice right? Was it true? She couldn’t think, not with what Cade was doing to her. She needed time. Time to think. Her body stiffened as she fought the pleasure pouring through her.

  “No, caraid.” Cade murmured soft Welsh words she didn’t understand. “Don’t push me away. Hold on to me. Trust me.”

  He continued talking, continued gentling her, pushing the whispering voice away until it fell sullenly silent, muffled by Cade’s strength and tenderness. The tension drained from her body, and again, she surrendered.

  His lovemaking was unhurried. He dipped his head and took her lips, and their tongues touched and teased. She loved the taste of him. Loved the increasing slickness of his sweat and the scent of his musk.

  He released her wrists to sweep his hands over her body. Cupping her breast, he plumped the nipple to a point and took it into his mouth, pulling deeply with his lips and tongue. Scraping gently with his teeth. Tiny shots of lightning zinged through her body.

  She could feel him, coaxing, demanding, taking. He wanted all of her; he wouldn’t stop until he had it. The realization both thrilled and terrified her. He’d said he loved her. Could it be true? He’d untied her, as she’d asked. She ran her hands over his chest, his arms. Framed his face with her hands. He felt like heaven. How she wanted to trust him. She needed to trust him. To surrender. She wrapped her legs around his torso and tilted her hips as an offering to her master.

  The voice returned with a vengeance. Your master! For shame. You would throw away the freedom that’s within your grasp? Give over your mind, your life essence to your enemy? Allow him this and you will never again taste freedom. You will be his slave unto death.

  A part of her brain almost believed the whispering voice. But despite the clamor in her mind. Despite the return of uncertainty and a growing panic, the pleasure Cade built climbed higher and higher, inexorably upward. It coiled her senses as it rose, until she was ready to snap under the pressure. She writhed beneath him, wanting to break, desperate to shatter. And still, he made her wait.

  With every thrust, her bones and muscles stretched. He was everything to her: the stars, the moon, the sun. The universe. Then, subtly, the sensation changed. She became aware of another source of power, a power that beat inside her own breast. Magic streamed from the center of her being, from a reservoir of power she’d never known she possessed. She knew it fully now, for the first time, in wonder. Her magic awakened, expanding, stretching, growing. Soon—very soon—it would be too great for one frail human body to contain.

  But, Maddie was not human. Her skin sparkled. Dark rainbow hues chased over her flesh. Her fingernails scored a path down Cade’s chest and her eyes burned. Her shoulder blades itched. She was stretching, changing, transforming. From human to demon.

  From freedom to slavery, the voice whispered.

  No, she thought. No.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cade sensed rather than saw the first sign of Maddie’s transformation. Her body convulsed and his nostrils contracted sharply with the odor of her terror. Painful emotions unfurled inside his chest. When her sob of despair reached his ears, he felt as though his heart would rip in two.

  He lay atop her body, his bare skin united with hers, his flesh hard inside her body. Energy gathered in the tension of her muscles. Soon now. Very soon, she would surrender to the inevitable. Or she would shatter and die.

  It was an excruciatingly difficult task to release the illusion of humanity and embrace one’s demon nature. Cade well remembered the agony. More times than he could count—both before and after his transition—he’d wished Cybele had let him die in that dirty alley.

  He looked into Maddie’s eyes. They were disturbingly blank. No, it would be more accurate to say her eyes were focused elsewhere. On her ancestral past? On her soulless nature? Neither was likely to be a pleasant sight.

  Cade was horrified to realize his own eyes were burning with tears. He’d had a year to come to terms with what he was, but in all that time his anger at bearing an eternal curse earned by the sins of his ancestors hadn’t diminished. Maddie would know the same despair. She would know the hopelessness of being counted among the unforgiven. But she would not give up, Cade knew. Just as certainly as he knew he would not allow her to face her new life alone. She was his. His to guide and protect for as long as he drew breath.

  Her beautiful eyes misted. Her body jolted under his, her spine arching. The violence of the motion nearly threw him from the bed. Belatedly he grabbed for her wrists. Too late. Newborn claws opened hot red lines across his shoulder and chest. The gashes burned.

  Blast it all to Oblivion. He never should have given in to her plea to cut her bonds. He’d shackled her for her own safety. And for his.

  Spitting curses, he captured her flailing arms and pinned them over her head. She resisted, sputtering in outrage, and the force of her sudden strength surprised him, even though he’d expected it. He jerked his hips, reminding her she was still impaled on his cock. Her inner muscles contracted sharply, almost painfully.

  “Maddie. Maddie! Can you hear me?”

  Her sharply inhaled breath was a hiss. Her eyes opened, caught and held his. Her pupils glowed red as recognition slowly dawned.

  “Cade.” She swallowed thick
ly. “I feel . . . so strange.”

  Her skin was shimmering darkly now, sparkling in shades of pearl and crimson and indigo like the dawn emerging from a swath of night clouds. He felt his body changing to match hers. Panic flared in her eyes; shock ran through her body. She clutched at his shoulders, her nails biting his skin.

  “What’s . . . what’s happening to me?”

  He surged deeply inside her. “You’re changing. Into Nephilim form.”

  “I . . . I’m not sure I want to.”

  “You can’t stop it. Don’t try.”

  Her skin shone with opalescent beauty. Their bodies slid slickly together. She clung to him, eyes open and staring, red power surging, magic unfurling. Her breath was shallow, her scent sharp. His nostrils flared. Her curls stuck to her forehead. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face.

  He spoke into her mind. Trust me, Maddie.

  He felt her stiffen. Confusion passed through her eyes. He lowered his head and clamped his lips around her nipple, and after a brief moment of resistance she seemed to relax. She lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around his waist. He cupped her buttocks. He stroked her mind with soothing thoughts.

  But, wait. What was this? For a fleeting instant, he’d felt the flash of something other in her psyche. Something that wasn’t Maddie and certainly not himself. A third presence.

  A threat?

  Out of the corner of his eye, he became aware of a deep crimson light pouring through the bedroom door from the room beyond. He turned his head and stared. The Watcher relic, reawakening? How? Why? And why now?

  There was nothing he could do about it. Maddie needed every shred of his attention. The shock of her final transformation would strike in seconds. The first change to Nephilim form was the worst. If she could endure the next few minutes, she would survive. She would be his. His woman. His love. His slave.

  He rolled onto his back, taking her with him, their bodies still joined. She sprawled with her hands braced on his chest. Grasping her hips, he pulled her sharply down, thrusting himself upward at the same time. She gasped at the deeper invasion and her inner muscles spasmed.